Create Your Own Heresy

Those who play the pope often come up with imaginative concepts. One of the more startling was this one, created by a player pope in a 1994 game.

As promised, the latest news from the Vatican:

Recently, while on a visit to the Holy Lands, Pope Gregory was approached a group of Christian Scholars. They had taken advantage of the truce t'ween Christians and Moslems to explore some caves near the Dead Sea. In these caves they found some scrolls that had been hidden by early Christian monks in the first hundred years after Christ's Resurrection. There were original copies of the Gospels of Mark and Matthew, and the Pauline Epistles, as well as previously unseen testament from the Apostle Simon. Examination of these documents confirmed the age of the parchments. Examining the texts revealed that the current version of the New Testament is somewhat inaccurate.

The texts were accompanied by a most convincing relic; the three nails that were used to fasten our Savior to His cross. These nails, which had soaked in the blood of the Messiah, were free of rust, decay and corruption. Scholars have confirmed that these are same kind of nails as used by the Romans to crucify their victims. Other iron objects in the cave had rusted beyond recognition, but not these blessed nails.

The Pontiff and his advisor brought these scrolls back to Rome for further study. While their studies are not complete, His Holiness has decided to release a preliminary Doctrine based on the early translations. He does this partly to bring the true word of Christ to his flock and partly to prevent the spread of Heresy that Black Cardinal de Monteil and his henchman de Navarra have been espousing.

Listen, all true Christians, to the words of Pope Gregory.

The Lord works in mysterious ways. Had it not been for the peace arranged by my predecessors, these scrolls might have remain hidden for another 1000 years. First, let me reassure you. While it seems that the true words of Christ have been obscured by those who seek to further their own cause, any Christian who has followed the word of God as we have known it, is in no danger of losing their immortal soul.

The true texts of the Gospels according to Matthew and Mark & as well as Paul's Epistles, clear up some differences in their tales of the life of Christ, our Savior. Even the newly discovered testament of the Apostle Simon confirms the truth of Christ's resurrection. However; there is an additional sermon, given by Christ, that was omitted from traditional version of the New Testament. This sermon occurs after Christ, Our Savior. was Resurrected from his tomb. He met the eleven surviving Disciples at a crossroads outside of Jerusalem. He gave them what is now called the Sermon of Three Nails. I will paraphrase now, as the original text is in Hebrew.

Jesus: My friends, whither doest thou go?

Simon: We return to our homes, lest the Romans should crucify us as well.

Jesus: Nay, take these three nails and listen to this Parable: Once there was an artisan, a man who worked with gold and silver. He had three sons who were the light of his life. The first son was Aaron, who was quick and strong. The second was Benjamin , who clever and inventive. The third was David, who was wise and kind. One day, when his life was near an end, he summoned them to his bedside. My sons, he said, I fear the ember of life within me is rapidly diminishing. Please listen closely while I give my finest gift, that of enlightenment. You have heard that there are Ten Commandments that were given to Moses as he brought our people to this Holy Land. While they number ten, there only three basic duties:

First, is your duty to God. Our God does not require us to sacrifice to Him any material item. All He asks that we revere His name, both by words and actions.

Second, is your duty to your family. You should honour, not only your father and mother, but your brothers, sisters, sons ,daughters, nieces and nephews as well. Your family is your chance to fulfill God's requirement to be fruitful and multiply.

Third, is your duty to your fellow man. Do not kill or enslave him. Respect his possessions and beliefs as you would want your own to respected. Remember there are many roads to Heaven, and others may not take the same path as yourself. This is not to say that you should submit to every barbarian who seeks tribute. Use force of arms only to protect your family and yourself. There will be trials and tribulations in the years to come. God tests His children and seeks to make them strong: strong in mind, strong in arms, strong in spirit. No man can excel in all areas. You must support each other in the trying times to come.

Aaron became a soldier and defended his land. Benjamin became an artisan and made many fine items, which made his land wealthy. And David became a holy man, and made his people wise. And their land thrived and prospered.

Jesus paused, while his Disciples absorbed the parable they had heard. Raising forth his hands, he summoned three pieces of wood. Taking the three nails, he joined the wood into a triangle. Man is like these three pieces of wood. Each is different, but when fastened together they can form a structure greater than the sum of the parts. These three nails are like the three duties. Together they can make a group of men, a tribe, a nation into a strong structure. Go forth and help join these sticks, these men into a unit that can resist the troubles to come. With that Jesus vanished into the sky, leaving only the three nails behind.

There will be further words on this subject, as soon as this scribe has had some sleep.